Welcome back for another rousing addition of the inner Blog-o-logue!
So I've been taking this Amazing, intensive career mastery course, learning about myself, about the industry
about life in general. My Life that is. One of my recent assignments was to look back and reflect on my career up until now, and write it, to notice what patterns and trends there may be... So, I've decided to share, because... well it's a pretty cool story!
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The Story So far....
In the late 90's I headed off to college, not knowing what I wanted to do with my life, where my talents may lie, or if I even wanted to be there. It just so happened that the school I entered was one of the best performing arts, and arts school in the nation. I spent about a year floundering about and coasting through. Then one semester I took an acting performance class, expecting an "Easy A" and a GPA boost. I got the the A, it was not easy, but it was fun. I also gained a fan in that class; the teacher, who happened to be the head of the drama department. She took an interest in me, an began coercing to take more classes and to consider performing. At the time, I didn't take her or acting very serious. It seemed ridiculously unrealistic to me; 'People from where I was from didn't go off and live out dreams like that!' So she pursued and I reluctantly dipped my toe in the performance waters occasionally, as I still had no idea what I wanted to do.
It wasn't until a close friend at the time, proceeded to sit me down and lecture me like a parent, that I started to listen. He told me how silly I was being because I was so obviously lost, but he could could see how much I enjoyed the acting classes. How my grades reflected that I was apparently good at it, and how 'someone so high up in the faculty and known in the industry saw something and believed in me'. He told me that I was a fool, not to take advantage. So... at that point, I did. I declared a major and took the department head as my faculty adviser and for the next year and a half or so devoted myself to learning all about theater, performing, method technique and all things acting.
Afterwards I left Purchase (college), with a better understanding for where my talents laid, and what I was good at. I came back to New York, still confused as to what I was going to do. I still hadn't bought into the idea of performing for a living. Oddly enough, I entered a subsequent school in which I ended up doing Theater, Again. This time the school was affiliated with the Tribeca Arts Center and I was able to do some performances with the two programs collaboratively. I also volunteered and worked the Tribeca film festival that year, and got a close up view of those who were actually living out their dreams. It was very surreal and inspiring, but I still couldn't see that happening in my own life.
Shortly thereafter, I entered the work force, working in a hospital, 9-5, being of service and actually making good money. Yet, I found myself hating my life. I was over worked, under pressure and stressed out. I didnt like working for other people and I began hating my life. I decided to enroll into a two year Miesner technique program just to have some enjoyment back in my life. In the class, my coach felt I was talented enough to pretty much accelorate past the entire 1st year and had me join the second year students. I began developing a lot of confidence as I was working with people who had been professional, for years, and I was holding my own. I was further encouraged by the teacher and my fellow classmates to keep pursuing my craft, and so I began to dabble my toes into the professional waters. Still under a lot of stress and pressures at work, the demands of a non stop job wore on my body and my Sickle Cell. My health deteriorated badly and I found myself in and out of the hospital multiple times within a year. Much higher than my typical average of 1-2 times in a year. I knew something was wrong. It culminated in me having a very bad, near death episode, where I found myself in and out of consciousness and stuck in the ICU for close to 2 weeks. I feared my own death.
I was forced to taked a disabilty leave from my job. During the time of my illness and my leave, I contemplated death, life, and what truly matters and what I was doing. This was my breaking point, the point of no return. I knew, I was meant for more or at least I decided I was. What I wanted to do with my life, my purpose and path. I no longer wanted to play 'the game' and decided life wasn't about the rat race, but about finding joy and fulfillment. With that... I became an Actor!
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Come back for part two of... The journey thus far!
