The Balance of Power

Many, see performers as people with huge ego’s, and while that isn’t 100% true,

it isn’t 100% false either; but in a way, the ego is a necessity to survive in this industry. We function in a world of dichotomies, constantly shifting, between varied amounts of rejections; to   varied amounts of success and hype. All of it, either, attacking our self esteem (at least if we let it), or feeding our ego (as we buy into our own hype), more and more. Its the ego, in it’s extreme blusterous confidence; that protects us from the constant threats and attacks, on our self esteem. It keeps us going, offering ourselves up to the world, for consumption. It’s also our ego, when left unchecked, that can fall victim to our own hype. Growing larger
and larger, only to delude us of our own magnificence, and devour all other redeemable qualities of our personae. Okay, maybe that was a bit more dramatic than in actuality (blame the performer in me); but you get the point!

It’s a difficult path, in which one of the most trickiest things to manage is, finding that balance. The balance of power, between ego and humility, confidence and insecurity; sanity and insanity…lol! No one likes an egotistical person (actor or not), there’s really is no excuse; yet no one likes a completely insecure person either. As performers we have to be confident in ourselves, our skills, looks, talent etc. in order to be able to deal with the day to day rigors of the industry. From the rejection, to the competition; the judgment of others to be more or less different from what you are. We need our egos to be secure in what we are offering to the world; although the world may want something else at any particular moment. Yet, in those moments in which the world wants us, it can and will feed our ego’s to the point of explosion (if we let it).

I’ve experience many harsh things in this business, critique and judgment like; loved ones telling me to ‘get real’, agents telling me to lose weight, change my look. I’ve felt the sting of rejection (either direct or indirect) by agents, casting people, or for roles (many times for things out of my control, like not looking like Will Smith). Dealt with poor show reviews, poor audience attendance, ratings; scams; and much more. I’ve also experienced the Joy and highs, from my success; the hype of the people, friends, fans and supporters; or just the world around me. Been in well received shows, packed houses and received standing ovations. Been celebrated for being spotted on TV, web shows etc; by friends, family and supporters. I’ve even been asked for autographs after shows or on the streets by people who have seen me perform. Experienced the hype by admirers, declaring how “cute” I am, being told by peers and colleagues how ‘brilliant’ I am, or how great my look is; or just that I ‘am going to be a star’; and so much more. All the while, it’s either fed or attacked my ego.

Without my ego, the negatives could have destroyed me; but without a sense of reality, humility and humbleness, all of the positives could have hyped me up to the point of unbearable. Although some of my friends still might say I can be a pain... lol! I think I’m managing alright.

The key, like all things in life; is balance… I take everything in this industry, good or bad with a grain of salt, so much of it, as in life is subjective. Perspective is a definite influence on all things in life. How you interpret and react to the world around you. I keep myself surrounded by like minded people; real people and positive people. It helps having good people, real people in your corner; to support you during the tough times and knock you back down to earth during the great ones. If you ask me, we all need that! So yes, I have an ego, I think I am great! I wish we all did… I wish we all knew our worth and our value… But, I know enough, to know that, my being great doesn’t make me better than anyone else…. And, that just because MY world revolves around ME; does NOT mean THE world revolves around me. As I always tell my friends, I’m confident not conceited (maybe borderline cocky…lol); and you should be too!

Stay Blessed!

Lesson's from the hard headed!

So, I recently had a conversation with an acquaintance of mine. He too works in the business; and we were discussing, the nuances of navigating the industry successfully.

Being our completely opposite personality types, we had divergent points of view on this.

See, he recently had a meet with a legit agent and felt it went well;  agent expressed some general interest in following up down the line and the possibility of working together in the future. So my friend asked if he should call the agents office next week and follow-up to which the agent replied ‘sure’.  This meeting, having taken place on Friday... he followed up on Monday, and when the agent didn’t answer his call, he became a bit distressed at the situation; calling me up to get my point of view.

This is where, our views split on this, see he is the type that believes that if the agent said yes, then said agent should ‘naturally’ be available the next business day, when he called. Never mind the fact that, this is a very busy bi-costal agency, in the middle of pretty hectic pilot season. Or, that expressed (what sounded to me) as little more than passing interest, with no real commitment of wanting to, or being ready to start actually working with my friend. In my humble opinion, the mere fact that he had a decent meet, is promising, and that this is the time to follow up in a reasonable manner, submitting postcards or other marketing material; waiting a few days before calling and having patience if you party is unavailable, before following up again. Maybe I am wrong, (and if I am, feel free to leave your feedback) but, while I fully believe in the need to be persistent in our endeavors; much like in love and dating, there is a thin line between persistence and desperation. And, as we should all know… desperation is NOT attractive!  This I’ve learned from my own experiences in both life and business; I’ve also gleaned as much, networking with Casting Directors, Agents, Producers and others in the industry, whom have shared and expressed the same.

Now, while I tried sharing this knowledge (mind you, I’m no expert as I too am navigating the industry and still on a path of learning and growing myself), it surprised me to hear him so resistant to hearing it. Surprised at his insistence that ‘this is a business and we do not have time to pussyfoot around’, nor to try and be cordial or personable; and that we need to knock down these doors at any means, to get in! So while I suggested, he wait a bit to call again, at least to the end of the week, or maybe just send a postcard or email links to his demo reel etc, He refused to budge on his point of view and proceeded to call said office again an again, multiple times that same week.

Well, going on two weeks later he is still in shock as to why he hasn’t heard back from that agent’s office. Now it seems, believing that said agent was playing some sort of games; this current disappointment (which may be too soon to call a disappointment) is yet another burden added to that ever growing chip on his shoulder. A chip, that I see far too many actors and people in general carrying. I got me to thinking how easy it can be for some, to become bitter at the world around them. Bitter, and blaming everything (or every/anyone else), without having ever looked at what it is we may have done. Or, rather what it is we can do to change, to adapt, learn and grow from our actions and past experiences. It’s a reminder to myself, to remain open; open to change, open to growth, open to learning, and to remember that desperation is never cute!

The Hater phenomenon!

Well, it wasn't my intention to do a blog today, let alone one about haters. Especially,
as I have other topics and writings cued up for release into the wild; however,
a strange occurrence happened for me today.

As some of you may now, I'm on twitter @crazaytalent, mainly for the purposes of networking;  but with some fun and friendly interactions happening there, as well.  Anyway,
I am an avid reader, and follower of The Daily Love (@TheDailyLove, #TDL);
and they posted an interesting affirmation today.  To "rise above your haters". An awesome tidbit, to which I replied, a concept that occurred to me a while ago. "I stopped seeing my haters, once I stopped looking for them"!  At that, my twitter stream BLEW UP!! Seriously, upwards of 30 re-tweets, multiple replies and comments from people I don't know, lots of follower adds; and still counting... mind you, this was only 3hrs ago... for me... It's a lot!

It got me to thinking, how the term hater, and the concept of haters, has completely overrun our culture. A term born out of hip hop which saturated through to pop culture and into the mainstream conscience, to become, almost a world phenomenon. With seemingly everyone obsessing over the haters they have, and how many. Its almost amusing; to think about, how having haters and the amount of haters we have, is now a status symbol. A badge of honor, stating we are doing something right; something worthwhile. It really does make me chuckle when I think about it. Heck, I too am guilty off becoming momentarily obsessed with my haters; using them to bolster my own ego, and enhance my own "swagg".

Still, at some point, either in my goal oriented tunnel vision, or in my studies of the dharma... it dawned on me, being concerned with my "haters", supposed or otherwise... is just a waste of my own time and my own energy. That it's not with the haters, which I will find my value; and it's not with the haters, which will determine my worth. All of that is within myself! To think of it reminds me of lessons learned from both buddhism and acting. Lessons about accepting the truth's of others, realizing that what others feel or may be experiencing in any given moment, is not necessarily a reflection of me; or having anything to do with me really, but more so, internal issues within themselves. HaHaHa, as someone close to me often says "that's their shit!"... but what is 'my shit', is how I react and respond to it. So Ive learned to choose not to... I've learned that rather than waste my energy and my time; I'd rather focus on things that actually matter to me in my life.  On the things thats going to move me forward and not slow me down, stop me, or move me backwards; like hate so often does. I learned that, once I stopped looking for my haters... I stopped seeing haters altogether! So while the world around me seems to focus on their haters I'm focusing on my supporters, the team that builds, the people that love and a life that is better. Maybe it's a choice to be ignorant, but in my case... Ignorance is bliss!

A little about Zay

Well this Being my 1st and only Blog (thus far), It seems only fair I should tell you
a little about who it is you will be journeying with as you delve a bit more into my world (or so I hope).

Many know me as Zay; although professionally, my name is Elizay Pierre-Louis... Umm yeah, let me help you out with that. It's, Eh-Lee-Zay Pierre-Louie (phonetically) ; just a few of my many monikers...lol!

Born and raised, on the streets of NYC. I recently (about 10 or 11 ears ago; maybe not so recent to some) discovered I had a gift for performing (primarily acting), and have since developed, and honed my skills to the point where now I am blessed enough to say I am living my dreams and am a working actor! Woo Hoo! How awesome is that! lol!

That being said, I wouldn't want you to get the wrong idea about me. Yes I love performing, and acting; It is a passion of mine, and a prominent focus in my life. I am much more than that. A young entrepreneur currently developing my own business, dealing with fashion, as I am a fan of style.

Also, currently a student of the Dharma, which, for those who don't know are the teachings of the Buddha; although I do not claim to be a Buddhist. A spiritual person I've studied different religions but do not consider myself religious. Rather... a seeker of truth, living a secular life... OOohh, I like the ring of that!

I work part time in a holistic care facility which i enjoy because I like work with alternative forms of healing and enjoy being of service. I also do volunteer work visiting hospice patients with a life expectancy of 6 months of less; offering comfort, support, compassion and any other kind of soothing presence I can. I suppose I do things like the volunteer work, and working in a holistic care center because of my own experiences with health Issue.  I live with the condition Sickle cell disease. An hereditary disease which causes massive pain crises and other health issues. I've face death a few times in the past, but those obstacles only helped me to recognize what (to me) is important in life, and to bolster my courage to go for what I want. Thus my life as an actor, and entrepreneur. I hate working for others and insist on living my life on my own terms. So overall,  I guess one could say I'm a bit of a fighter...lol. Although I suffer from sickle cell it does not define me, nor do I let it hinder me... Not a source of weakness but rather a source of my strength!

Well that is a bit of me in a nut shell... I choose to stop there, because as an actor... I do have a bit of an ego and can go on all day...lol! All that said... I'll get to the point of this blog. Mainly... it's my intention to inform, educate and entertain you all (and myself), by sharing my random thought, musings, experiences in the industry and such, all coming from an actors perspective. Hence the name inner Blog-o-logue, much like an inner monologue, you'll get a sneak peak into the world, or mind of an actor. And, while this Blog will not be only about acting and the industry or my career (yes, some stuff will be about that, but, there will be much more), it will come from that kind of slant or perspective, meaning more than likely, I will find a way to tie it in....lol

Hope you enjoy all, and please comment, question, add and subscribe for more. I am hoping to get to know you all in this journey as well! Thanks for joining me! See yah next time!