Honesty ... really the best policy?

We've heard it all before... Ideological staples like "The truth shall set you free", "Honesty is the best policy"; and many other idealistic staples passed down to us from early childhood. All, very good lessons to learn; and although these lessons are taught to us (generally speaking) in the earliest phases of life... formative years; yet somewhere along the line, personally, I learned to lie. Not just, lying in the straight-out outlandish story making sense; but the whole gamut of the lie spectrum. The self protecting lie to keep out of trouble, the white lie to protect others and their feelings, the half truths and self denial to cushion our own ego's and/or maintain our perceptions of self. 

It's interesting to think of it now, because in most case's people are not taught how to lie outright, but we seem to learn it in one way or another... possibly through watching and observing, or maybe just natural inclination; like the 1st time a child may realize telling a falsehood or half truth could help them avoid punishment. Maybe it's just part of human nature... hardwired into our self preservation circuits. Who know's exactly where we get it from; but most people in there life time have as least lied to someone or themselves at one time or another. I know I have... hell, there was even a time when I had a real problem with lying. When I think of it now, I must've been borderline pathological, as I found myself lying, for no apparent reason, or for reasons as shallow as having others think better of me. But, I digress... these days I am an avid practitioner of honesty. Life's bumpy road has taught me the value of being real and genuine. As a performer I spend a fair amount of time, escaping myself, portraying lives and stories not true to my own and, in a sense, playing make believe. Living as such, makes my desire for truth and genuineness in my everyday life a necessity. Still, no matter how much I embrace truth in my life there are always reason, justifications and temptations to lie.... especially to myself. 

I often have to remind myself that people are responsible for themselves, that its not my place to protect others with white lies, or hidden truths etc; because once those truths are exposed (as it usually happens), it usually hurts them (and that relationship) much more than it would have, had that person been allowed to prepare and fend for themselves. It's this same logic, when turned around to myself, that won't allow me to get caught up in the traps of illusion, and self denial. I am reminded that I need to face the truths (harsh or otherwise) about myself, to continue to learn and grow on this journey called life. No one's perfect, but as I continue to better myself, I am learning that facing the truths, that others so easily lie to themselves about is what helps (and will continue to) make me stronger, wiser and a better; a better actor, a better person, a better man. So I'm learning, the best thing I can do, for myself and for those around me, is to be honest, to (respect and) allow us all to deal with the reality of life as it is. And thats not to say 'yes... lets all just go around, smacking down others and crushing peoples feelings in the name of the truth'... there is a line between being truthful and honest and being brutally honest (which just seems to be tainted with the intention to cause pain). However, in the grand scheme of things I'm learning more and more... that those idealistic lessons taught in my early years (by the same people I probably learned a bit about lying from) are indeed true. Honesty really is the best policy.

New Look! New Approach! New Prospects... of change!!

So... Ive been M.I.A past couple of weeks. Wish I could say, "I've been oh so busy... amazing things are happening to me career wise and personally... My career is sky rocketing, and I found my self in a whirlwind of activity... YAY for me!!!" ... Well I wish I could say that... but truth is, I cant. Well not exactly ... See I've been feeling a bit stuck lately... Creatively blocked... frustrated and in a bit of a funk lately. Things not happening as fast as I would like lately... and distractions from the tedious, day to day rigors of life, taking my focus and energy.

These EXCUSES not withstanding... I know I had to man up... 'tough out' this funk and break out of my rut. It was time for CHANGE.  Change... That inevitable, irregularly-regular occurrence, so many fear and dislike.  A happening, Ive become adjusted to, accustomed to and now seek out in my life. I've learned that change doesn't have to be this abstract, uncontrollable event that I am victimized by. That I have some control over the things happening in my world. That, because something is unknown, doesn't automatically equate to negative, or bad. Ive learned, and am learning that... sometimes, being willing to leave that safety-netted comfort zone... is necessary step towards embracing change that will impact your life for the good. So now, I embrace change, in the efforts of making things better. Unwilling to allow that comfort make me apathetic towards living my life, following and finding my joy(s).

I had to remind myself that, I never want to be soooo comfortable, that I cease to be curious. That I cease to want to learn, and grow as a person and as an artist. I had to remind myself that facing and overcoming my fears, taking on new challenges and experiences, is a most thrilling and important part of the journey.

So here I am, with a new look... a new approach... and new prospects dancing in my head. I shaved all my hair off! For those that have known me or seen me, know I had long dread-locks that I had been growing for many years; locks I had become attached to. For a while there, I almost identified myself synonymously, with my hair. As others became (just as, if not more) attached to and defined me by it. I was comfortable with that... I like how I looked... was unsure how Id look or be accepted without them. I booked a good amount of gigs with them... but refused to acknowledged, how my insistence on keeping them, was keeping me from growing and doing more as an artist and professional in the industry. I made excuses, like, 'my investment and branding being tied to my look', and 'how changing that would set me too far back'.

All just ways of trying to be safe, in my comfort zone.

But, Ive since; opened up to and am taking on new opportunities. Not, just strictly acting but in other areas; allowing me to develop my skills and grow as a person and artist. I'm taking on teaching,  a beginners acting class to beginning students for a studio thats requested my services. An opportunity that allows my to share some of my knowledge and gifts... as I continue to work on my own craft and help others. Ive also started freelance blogging for a new new site... an opportunity I came by, through this very blog. My new look, has gotten great reaction and feedback from my supporters, peers, loved ones and industry colleagues. New opportunities are appearing all around me...and I can see, more in the future for my continued growth! I am excited again... and ready for action! So hello world! I'm Baaackkkk!!!  Not that I ever went anywhere really... we all go through phases of funk sometimes... but It's in those time I try to remember... change is good! So while I cant EXACTLY say... "My career is sky rocketing, and I found my self in a whirlwind of activity" I can say that... I am still blessed and see the world in bloom all around me.. Yay for me after-all!!

Wishing the same for you....

Peace and blessings!