I will have, Quality work!
I will have, appreciation and recognition for my work!
I will have the generously fair compensation, which I know I deserve!
I will be of Service with my work and contributions
I will have Joy and fulfillment in all that I do!
These things I ask, demand and will achieve of my self and from the universe!!
These things and more, because (not to sound like a cheesy commercial) I Am Worth it!
These are the intentions, goals, aspirations and expectations, I have for myself; and what I expect (wholeheartedly) to achieve in ALL of my endeavors. I guess you can say these are affirmations; my proclamations to the universe at whole. Its a somewhat strange thing for me, personally to put these thoughts, desires and intentions out there in the open for the world to see. The fear of judgment of others, the judgement of myself... the fear of failure; hell even the fear of success. These and so many other internal & external concerns prevented me from expressing as much. It's taking me a long time to come to a place where I am comfortable enough, with the person I am, and with the desires in my heart, to express them openly; to know that it's okay to want them.... Now, having said (or typed) them for the 1st time (ever); I have to say... Phew! Thats a load off my chest. LOL!
It's strange to think of the different phases Ive gone through in my life; thoughts like money being the root of all evil and feeling negatively about those who have or who want money. As though, to want money is some sign of greed and evil desires. I used to feel as though desiring, appreciation or recognition (especially pertaining to acting) was a sign of shallowness and superficiality. Or that to ask for anything worthwhile, simply because I felt, I was worth it; was a sign of egotism and conceit that no one (let alone myself) deserved.
Now, through the growth I've made in my life, through study, through the arts, through constant effort to improve myself, to be a better all around person (not just actor); I see how all those thoughts, were merely illusions. Limiting beliefs to keep me from expressing my full potential, beliefs that kept a free roaming LION acting like a caged mouse! I've learned that in order to reach the heights you want, you 1st have to be able to express them. Much like the old saying goes, "a closed mouth, doesn't get fed", and in this world we live in, we all need to be fed, so we all need to open our mouths! What is it you want from this world, from your life... what's preventing you from going for it... are those reasons real or illusion? All these and more are questions and issues I've had to face and ask of myself.
Looking back, the things that prevented me from going further, or accomplishing more all seem so silly to me. Why would I believe money is the root of all evil... fact of the matter is, we need money to survive; and while I'm not advocating GREED (especially at the sake of others), I believe we all deserve to live life comfortably, and in a way the helps facilitate our joy. I do not believe that we are born to just suffer and struggle, without even the opportunity and/or the tools to create a better world for ourselves and those around us. And while I am not looking to be famous and admired or worshiped by fans and groupies, the world over; who doesn't want to be appreciated and acknowledge for their work and contributions. When I perform, and I touch someone; to know that I did so, that I left a mark, taught a lesson, gave them joy or even helped them escape & entertain; is one of the greatest gifts I receive. Or to be told by peers and colleagues (especially those whom I admire) that they appreciated or enjoyed my quality of work, is both, a humbling and exhilarating experience that I treasure. It's nice to know your of value and appreciated. Who doesn't wish for merit, fulfillment and joy in the work that they do... these are things I personally wish for everyone. Things that help make life worth living (in my opinion); so I'd remiss (...Id be a fool!) to for wish such beautiful things for others, yet not desire them for myself. More than desire, to strive for and achieve them! To create the life and world that I want! To feel and know that I AM deserving of such! This is my statement to the uni-verse... this is the path that I walk... and I shall not relent!
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